Editor's Pick
JUNE 15, 2009 1:48PM
Rate: 7
Meet Laser Dazer, the humanitarian weapon apparently demonstrated by our beloved Yoda. And here you thought Yoda was just a little guy full of pearly wisdom.
The new Puke Ray system, brought to us by Laser Energetics of New Jersey, is a brand new non lethal protection gizmo ready to launch into the public safety and military arena. Now, instead of shooting suspects, cops can zap them in the eyes with the green light sabre and instantly make them queasy enough to vomit.
Saving Lives - One Daze at a Time is the trademark for this new weapon of mass vomitus. The Enforcer, using the laser emits a green, eye- safe beam into the eyes of the Threat (seriously, did you think I made that up?) and renders them with morning sickness extraordinaire. The company even offers a brochure for the Laser Dazer here.
Be still my heart. Now I can walk in the tenderloin in San Francisco all by myself after dark because my trusty sabre will render any bad dude, instantly, into a puddle of puke. Assuming my aim is good enough.
Thank goodness it comes with long-life batteries and is ergonomically comfy. The smaller model will even fit in a purse or backpack.
Currently, Puke-Ray does not ship with a supply of barf bags, nor does it talk about what happens if your suspect is hopped up on Dramamine.
Comments
because my trusty sabre will render any bad dude, instantly, into a puddle of puke
I see a market emerging for puke-proof dark glasses... Bad guys will look even cooler in contrast with everyone losing their lunch all around them.
I see a market emerging for puke-proof dark glasses... Bad guys will look even cooler in contrast with everyone losing their lunch all around them.
this is very, very bad news for Jaba ;0
You find the strangest news ... must be a west coast thing~ LOL!!!
You find the strangest news ... must be a west coast thing~ LOL!!!
Rob - I understand that they've worked on that scenario, but someone will invent a beam-back pair of specs I bet! I just love this stuff.
Ann - yep. All the news that isn't fit to print is what I collect. Definitely a left coast thing. I actually live for this stuff, sadly. That, and your chocolate cake and meatloaf cupcakes.....
and oh boy - could you imagine the Jaba sized vomitus????
Ann - yep. All the news that isn't fit to print is what I collect. Definitely a left coast thing. I actually live for this stuff, sadly. That, and your chocolate cake and meatloaf cupcakes.....
and oh boy - could you imagine the Jaba sized vomitus????
I wonder how long until we see some kid bring one of these to school. It beats getting shot I bet. Maybe these devices will really catch on and instead of having an armed society being a polite society, we have an armed society being a puke society. Big pharmaceutical companies could give you a laser daser free with purchase of the giant bottle of anti-nausea meds.
I am betting the mag light will always remain among law enforcements ultimate weapons most of the time.
I wonder how long until we see some kid bring one of these to school.
Or hooking one up to the high beams on their car's headlights. Wouldn't that result in interesting traffic patterns? The possibilities for nasty mischief are endless...
Or hooking one up to the high beams on their car's headlights. Wouldn't that result in interesting traffic patterns? The possibilities for nasty mischief are endless...
oooh, I want one!!
veteranschmeteran - good question. should be interesting if these things catch on.
Don - probably true. can you imagine: "Stop Dirtbag or I'll make you puke!"
Rob - yep, and then they will be all the rage at college dorms for weight loss: beaming each other so they can't eat for hours....can you see the infomercials?
Hyblaean J - almost as catchy as the iphone!
Don - probably true. can you imagine: "Stop Dirtbag or I'll make you puke!"
Rob - yep, and then they will be all the rage at college dorms for weight loss: beaming each other so they can't eat for hours....can you see the infomercials?
Hyblaean J - almost as catchy as the iphone!
Cool.
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